August 9, 2009

It's pathetic, really.


"We always ignore the ones who adore us, and adore the ones who ignore us."

I am having dreams about you every night. Sometimes they are beautiful, filled with our moments together replayed over and over again, each time the scenes getting better and better. In these I smile in my sleep, I'd even moan gently however kinky that sounds, I can't give a shit. But the majority of the time, I get these nightmares that leave me asphyxiated, waking up in cold sweat. In these I am falling into a pit, travelling farther and farther until I wake up, just in time, before I hit land. Then in others, I simply see you, with someone else. Anyone else but me. It hurts. I can't even begin to describe how these pained me. I love you, but I just can't let you go.

I don't want to sleep. I don't want to have nightmare after nightmare every night of my life.
However on the other hand, there is another slight possibility for me to dream a pleasurable one with just you and me.
It is excruciating.

I miss you.
I miss the memories we share, now nothing but just memories that can never be relived.
I can't stop thinking about you.
Every song would bring me back to the thought of you.
I need to see you!


I AM GOING CRAZY.



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