December 16, 2013

lately i'm falling for you

Today I received a message from a former classmate of mine from highschool. We were never really close, but I have always had a liking towards her. She's one of those beautiful, unique-looking (in the best way) girls with a unique and rare personality to match. I always knew she wasn't like the other girls who gossiped or judged or cared for trivial matters. I hope she doesn't mind, but I wanted to share parts of her message to me on this blog:

"Hay girl !!
I came across your blog the other day, remembering in 8th grade how cool it was that you blogged, and so I checked it out again for the first time in 4 years. Forgive my stalker ish behavior.
But I read some of your posts. I realized how genuinely emotional and intellectual you are - frankly, the pictures I see of you on facebook do you no justice, sorry if that came out offensive. Cause on facebook, you didn't seem like the type who wrote, and exposed your feelings and intellectual inclinations. I just felt this urge to let you know, you're pretty darn incredible and strong for a girl who's gone through lots. I look up to you, and while this may seem weird coming from a younger person, I want to share a piece of advice - don't so easily give in to emotional intimacy, especially to men who aren't interested in hardcore commitment and selfless love. cause most of these men leave as soon as their infatuation fades.
above all else, guard your heart, ok? for most things flow from how well it's been treated and preserved. I hope your strength doesn't fade. It doesn't matter if I don't know you too well, I'm here if you need support/love/care/tear bucket."

Thank you, N, for the kind words :') much love!

Sometimes in life, it's these little things that bring you up and uplift you into greater spirits. When a random but caring passerby pops into your life to give you strength. It means so much and gives me hope. Life has been pretty confusing for me these past few months. I have been happy most of the time, lonely sometimes, but numb all the time. It's weird. I haven't cried in what seems like record-breaking time. My heart isn't hurting anymore but it isn't beating, my stomach doesn't flutter, and nothing takes my breath away. Though I'm content, I don't feel... me. Does this make any sense? Am I the only one who's going through this? I don't know, but I know that I have loving people surrounding me and I am beyond blessed and grateful for that. I am learning to love again and learning to trust the way I did (though maybe never back to 100% haha). I'm healing and just like a broken bone, I'm growing back stronger than before. Things are really looking up for me and I hope all is well with all of you's!

Love, Titan

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